he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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