I heard we made out
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize