wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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