He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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