some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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