i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
