He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
