Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
