we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
