i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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