So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
