sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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