even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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