at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
