am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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