You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
