my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
