who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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