We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
