so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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