also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
