Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
