I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
