I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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