I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
