Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
