So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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