Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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