everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
