He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
this must be what syphilis tastes like
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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