I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
