I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
