Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
