No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
