oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
