OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize