heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
