well I can't set my house on fire every night
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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