She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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