I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
