I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
