I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
