Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
