we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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