No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
