I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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