Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
