I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
