so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize