guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
