my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
