We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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