it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize