literally had 100 drinks last night.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
