Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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