He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
