My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
