He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
When did angry sex become our thing?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
