i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
