there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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