The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
